Singleness haunts me on Friday nights, as I watch Say Yes To The Dress marathons on TLC
and eat ice cream. I always work early Saturdays, so Friday nights I decide to
torture myself. I watch super
annoying women spend thousands of dollars on a wedding dress (some of these
gold diggers buy two $10,000 dresses for a one night event… that s@#$ cray).
When my luck runs really high on a Friday night, I might actually witness a
marathon of “Say Yes To The Dress: Bridesmaid Edition”, where I witness a bunch
of spoiled bridesmaids fight over what dress they would purchase to wear in
their best friend’s wedding.
The episodes where the girl shops with her father and he
cries when she discovers she found “the dress” make me cry every time. I say to
myself, “Why are you crying, it’s not like Oprah Winfrey just surprised 600
African kids with college educations (Oprah shows use to always make me cry).”
I definitely become a sappy chick and I hate when I enter fairytale land, as a
jaded realist, it cramps my style.
I pretty much commit single suicide every Friday night.
Every other day of the week I try to accept my total singleness at almost 30,
but Friday nights I become so engulfed in romance land, that I begin to feel
sorry for myself. Generally I just let my friends and family express these
sentiments of sorrow for me.
Last Friday night I sat down for my usual ritual and turned
off the TV ten minutes into my guilty pleasure, that slightly depresses my life,
and decided to no longer torment myself. I receive enough single reminders on
Facebook daily. As I slowly watch every one I went to high school with end
their single days, with notifications of default picture changes, which
showcase them kissing their hubby while wearing the dress they said, “yes” to. I
do not recommend that all the single ladies watch this show…just sayin’.
No comments:
Post a Comment