The desire to fulfill my need for companionship found me
once again scrolling through my Inbox on OKCupid,
but this time desert style. The messages exceed the comedic level of those
received in my home state of California. Seriously though, with my experience
with men…the messages do not surprise me.
“Very sexy. We should do it (insert bad form of phrase)
sometime!”…Thanks? I could not respond to this message. I felt suddenly that I
died and found myself reincarnated as a prostitute on Harbor Blvd. The young
male that wrote these words to me does deserve a high five for brutal honesty
on the other hand.
A 19-year-old male said, “Do you have any interest in “hooking
up” with a younger guy?” I did not sign up to loseyourvirginitymingle.com.
Nowhere in my profile do I report that I am “DTF” jersey shore style…just
sayin’.
“I am a professional poker player and I live with my parents.”
No honey, I saw a red flag in this message and it screams my parents support my
gambling problem.
I went on date with a respectable, nice man, with a job and
enjoyed his company in the friend zone, but once again felt my inner fate
seeker whisper to me that online dating feels forced. Interview questions for
an hour and half (towards the middle of these dates I always wished I stayed at
home and read a book). The decent men on OKCupid
remind me of little girls dreaming of white picket fences and mini vans (my
dreams of the near future involve traveling and a career change…and I would
never drive a mini van).
I found a quote today in my pocket book, “Live Love Laugh”,
which I felt applied to my dating traumas. “It is only possible to live happily
ever after on a day to day basis.”-Margaret Bonnano.
I decided today to stop the search for companionship. My
whole life I bought into the “they lived happily ever after” fantasies, I know
my best friend for life will not show up on a white horse, but truthfully I
finally realized he would not appear via OkCupid
message either. I deleted my app and I’m signing offline, for good.
I believe in fate and love, the old fashioned way. When you
catch eyes with someone from across the room and feel compelled to be in their
presence whatever the cost. Best friends attempting to live life happily
together one day at a time. I know the fairy tale life does not exist, but I do
feel if I wait and stop searching, Mr. Right will be worth the wait and
together we will attempt to live happily one day at a time.
Until the day my
match-up with fate arrives, I remain sexless in the desert and my online dating
life must come to an end (the troubles of single life will still continue via
sexless in the desert).
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