Overwhelming Bipolarism

The best word I would use to describe the way I felt after my new journey started this week would be, overwhelmed (For those of you just signing on I moved from California to Arizona).

All week I felt overwhelmed by my move, I remained in deep thought, full of emotions of the fear of loneliness, as I attempt to live by myself for the first time. Fear of acceptance by new coworkers, customers and people. Fear of the unknown of what tomorrow will bring. But then suddenly throughout all the fears, I started to feel extreme excitement towards the end of the week about it all. (Bipolar hormonal tendencies exist in all women).

Let me illustrate a prime example of how extremely bipolar I became this week, during my overwhelming life changing experience…

One night while conversing with my new coworkers, I discovered that a place where they house criminals resides near me. At first I didn’t think to much about it, because a place referred to as the “Farm” in Orange County practically sat in my backyard for 16 years, but since my emotions seem to be causing me to have mental issues, when I returned home from work that night I tripped harder than a hippie at Woodstock, over the fact that a police helicopter decided to hover over my apartment with its search lights on.

Being completely alone, in a completely different land equals the thing that most overwhelmed me this week. Not knowing anyone in this town scared me. Not feeling capable of completely protecting myself, if my brief thought of a jail breaker catapulting his way into my apartment became reality. I barely slept a wink that night (to feel better when I sleep at night, I might be on the road to taking part in the Arizona Law that allows me to keep a firearm next to my nightstand…just sayin’).

After a discussion with my Arizona mom, I realized towards the end of the week that I live in a safe place, I need to stop letting my mind over analyze every situation (but alas the mind of a writer takes you to some pretty craynuts places), the unknown should not be something I fear, and that I will be learning how to shoot a gun properly in the near future.

Being overwhelmed by new situations life presents, I realized happens to everyone. The key to releasing the fears and overwhelming emotions would be to stay busy and remind yourself the reasons why you chose to make the change. Also learning the art of protecting yourself when venturing into the unknown alone, just makes life a little less scary…just sayin’.